Lolcat

Dear AT&T,

Thank you for sending my money back to my wallet you dirty thieves.

Your internet is very useful to me and I would rather like to keep it, but I also like to get money back that was stolen from me. So, please don't die anymore right now. I need internet.

So what is the lunch lady's mystery meat made of?

Is it regular beef or chicken with special seasoning?

Is it the highly rated unborn baby fetus and amniotic sac?

Is it tortured baby cows...no that's veal.

If you put food up your ass do you shit out your mouth...?

Can pigs fly?

and Why the hell did the chicken cross the road?

All good questions, and here are the answers.

It is the baby fetus.

You do shit out of your mouth, eric cartman said so.

Pigs can fly when shot out of a cannon.

and the chicken was running from a group of wild monkys, that's west side for ya.

So, life sucks, officially. As declared by me.

I wish I held the switch the worlds nuclear missiles. I would fuck with people so bad

"Oh am I gonna push it, oh oh, Ooohhh not today."

"Just kidding. BALLS TO YOU!!!"

So tell me what you think about this



Pretty epic right? You can cap a nigga and rock out with dat funky shit

Now check this next one out and try not to get worked up

WTF is that?

Who in their right minds would even think of playing a giant penis even if it was for the spirit of music. The only person I could see playing this is Michael Jackson....or that kid from blades of glory. I think they found this in MJ's will, right next to the kiddie porn and request to be president of some choir club...if you play this you're gay.

And I don't mean balls to you gay, I mean balls on you. Sweaty, meaty manwich, flopping in your face you fuckin' fag.

I told you not to get worked up over that guitar you perverted bastard. That's it...

I quit!!!

Whatever man. Guess it's not like I have anything better to do.

G'night.

Satisfying Things

Honestly, right now, and idk why, but the most satisfying thing right now other than dipping kittens in freezing water and peeing in the ice machine is randomly blurting out

bawlz 2 sue

bouls two do

bowls too jew

BALLS TO YOU!!!

FUCK YOU AT&T STEALING MONEY OUT OF MY FUCKING POCKET. FUCKING BURN AND DIE YOU THIEVES



"Are you freakin' kidding me?!?" and some other stuff...

So a friend over at http://thruthemindsi.blogspot.com/ calls me up and tells me he's been talking to a local comedian and part time radio personality, angry patrick who lives here in Bryant.

Now I think this guy is hilarious with his mad rants and insulting jokes. Anyways, supposedly Angry Patrick is supposed to check out their blog and spread the good word. Well I hope so. They have some good stuff and it makes me feel slightly closer to a celebrity. Lol.

So I drive a 99 Ford Explorer. It's not in too bad shape. A little paint is peeling off, can't see it and the engine rattles slightly which is mostly unnoticeable. Now I love cars, Like really love cars. So far I've painted my door panels red and black and put in an aftermarket stereo, subs and such. But that was all just getting used to it. This summer I plan for dual exhaust, some engine tuning maybe. And repainting the door panels to blue and black, hopefully they will turn out pretty this time. Paint the dash and some other things. Then I'm going to trade it in for a four door car next year to tune up. I'll post up pics over the next year of the work in progress. Who knows, maybe soon it'll look like

BAM!

I'm bored so I think I'll talk about another movie.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Now I absolutely love this movie, it's my favourite.

But it's a little trippy and kinda weird.

The basic story is a canadian kid falls for an american girl who has 7 evil exs who for some reason all have some weird superpowers.

evil ex 1. matthew pattel, shoots fireballs and dances and since with ghost vampires, also he dresses like a gay pirate.

evil ex 2. a skateboarding actor with a beard adored by gays all around

evil ex 3. blonde vegan pretty boy with powers that make him look like something out of dragon ball z

evil ex 4. a redneck goth girl with an ugly face mole and a chain whip built into her outfit...ouch

evil exs 5 and 6. twin asians that play piano and make dragons out of lights

and evil ex 7. a gay dressed music producer that carries a cane and values control

After watching this the first time and seeing the random "POW" and "BAM" pop up on the screen I was kinda weirded out. But it was overall humorus. I can say one thing, hippies will have a ball watching it... I wish life were that easy, someone hurts me I just whip out the magic kung fu and a giant war hammer and kick ass. But life blows monkey balls as we all know. Besides the random off humor and pretty colours the only other thing that made this movie was Mary Elizabeth Winstead with her coloured hair.

I'd hate to piss her off, or maybe not.

Life would be so fun like, piss me off and I'll pull a sword out of my chest and blow up your goons into coins. That's a good life lol.

Anyways, besides being majorly weird and off, it's and extremely good and entertaining movie unlike the james camerons avatar porno in the making

It's a mawd mawd wurld.

Goodmorning blog. So today is my baby girl's first bday. Happy birthday darling. I love you.

So have you ever had one of those days where nothing went right at all?

Yeah...

Well that's how my day went, like it usually does.

In the roofing business we use nail guns run by air pressure, all guns have their own air hose hooked into one main hose run to the air compressor. Well my hose tends to get caught on every little bush, pot, tree, or gnome laying around in peoples' yards.

And that majorly blows. It rips shingles and gets caught so I lose slack and end up shooting a low nail and having to pull the shingle up. Or maybe the guns jam, which has been a recurring problem for over a year now. Mostly because the boss refuses to take them to get fixed at the good place and thinks that all they need is a good cleaning which is bullshit.

And the shingles we order are always frozen or wet which majorly dulls our knife blades or breaks them which in turn leads to wasting blades or wobbly, ugly cuts in the shingles.

All in all the job blows, everything tends to go wrong 90% of the time. Mostly due to the fact that my boss doesn't want to keep things fixed and working. But that's life I guess :\

So a week ago, a video went on youtube of a homeless man, Ted Williams, who had an absolute amazing announcer/radio voice, but had a bad fallout with drugs and alcohol.

Watch this and tell me it's not amazing...

Awesome right? Well two days after this hit the web, Ted got many job offers, one he took was announcing for the Cleveland Cavaliers and they also bought him a home. Not long after he did the voice over on a kraft mac and cheese commercial. Now that's an amazing second chance he had been offered. Well today on the radio I come to find out, Ted is going to rehab!!! Yep that failboat bastard with a beautiful voice let his life fall right back to where it was, only this time he had money to afford it. Little over a week and this man gave up everything he had just gained for a quick fix. Which turned into Dr. Phil (hate that guy) offering to pay out of pocket on his show to put Ted back in rehab for one more try. Don't mess it up this time dumbass!

So I recently watched the movie Inception, which by all means was a good movie. It starts out in the middle of the story using words that make no sense telling a story that seems to have no plot. Of course it all unfolds in the end.

Basically it's the story of a man who can enter into your dreams and remove or plant information or ideas. It sounds cool, it looked cool, especially when they constructed the person's dream world to put them in. It was like an acid tripp watching the worlds morph and bend. The best part however, was the main characters fictitious dead wife kept appearing in random dream worlds and messing everything up. Turns out, this guy's crazy.

He had to make his own little word just to keep his wife's memory, who btw was an insane woman who thought that life was just some dream and killing herself would bring her back to reality...riigghht... Anyways, it was trippy. Only things I learned watching this, is

1. marry someone not crazy

2. Don't break into peoples' heads

3. killing yourself doesn't solve everything

(though sometimes I wonder)

4. I should apparently keep a worthless trinket in my pocket to prove I'm not crazy...

Wtf is that?!?

Anyways, honestly, if I wanted to watch something crazy, I'd stick to watching this over and over

Yeah that's really bloody crazy, and annoying.

Ok bye folks


Oh and btw...

Hello Everyone.

Hello everyone! Now blogging is very uncharacteristic of me so I'd have to attribute this to my dear friends over at http://thruthemindsi.blogspot.com/. Read and enjoy. Now this will be insulting, sexist, racist, and so on. Hopefully you'll find it funny, and maybe somewhat insightful but maybe not. Makes no difference to me. It's just my opinions and half-assed attempts at what might be considered humor. But don't hate. It's just who I am. Enjoy.

Now this guy is hilarious and i highly suggest watching more of his vids on youtube.

And when you get done, watch some more. I spent a whole day watching all these videos at one point. Anyways...

So, who thinks the world will end? Honestly i don't. It sounds more like a gimmick to give the people something to fear and the government something else to control. I mean, how did 2012 just appear right around this time. Shouldn't we have known for years.

Who knows? Hell, maybe the mayans just didn't feel like writing more calenders after that year. Our calender companies have a stopping point I'm sure.

Or maybe they were all high. I know if I were trippin' balls I'd think the world would end...

"The gnomes are after me man! Get away you fuckers!!!..."

Course I'm sure it'd be more crazy than that but whatever.

Or maybe the mayans were right. We're all going to die. Oh well.

But what happens after that, afterlife, a new life, heaven or hell?

Does God restart again like he did after the flood?

Or does he say fuck the work and sit in his comfy chair with the latest hustler and a cold brewski?

Sounds like a cool guy to me.

I think that if we were all going to die, I'd have to do everything I could to make myself happy then end it at the last minute. Be like, "Bitch you saw this coming...ha ha, coming, anyways."

Maybe it's all just some master scheme to keep the people in fear of the powers that be. Idk about you but I don't think Obama's smart enough to plan ahead like that, or even plan.

That guy has done nothing but make controlling, shitty changes to our entire country since day one. Wanting peace talks and such. Where's Busch when ya need him? He drug us into the war, I promise you if he had to he wouldn't hesitate to nuke those bastards(terrorists) and end it all right there. That's what we need, a powerful leader to put others in their place and end all this end of the world crap. But that's just me.

I think its high time I go poke fun of sparkly vampires and play some World of Warcraft
=P

And don't get me wrong, I love my country and such, but some things just aren't right.
Oh and Arkansas finally got snow, 8 inches of the white powdery goodness.